It may surprise some people to learn that men can experience depression and anxiety when expecting a baby or after becoming a parent. Becoming a dad is a major life transition, and while it can be a time of great joy, it can also bring significant emotional, physical and practical challenges.
Around 1 in 10 new or expectant dads experience anxiety or depression in Australia. Despite this, many fathers do not seek support and their struggles can go unnoticed. Some dads feel pressure to be the strong one, while others may not recognise that what they are experiencing is something that can be helped.
The good news is that support is available. DadBooster is a free online treatment program designed specifically for dads experiencing depression or anxiety after the birth of their child. Based on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT), DadBooster provides practical strategies to help fathers understand their symptoms, improve their mood and build skills to manage the challenges of early parenthood.
Learn more about DadBooster and access the program here.
Men can experience depression after the birth of a child too
Many people associate postnatal depression only with mothers, but fathers can also experience significant emotional difficulties during the transition to parenthood. Research suggests that around 5% of men experience depression or anxiety while expecting a baby, increasing to around 10% after becoming a father. While depression in mothers often develops soon after birth, depression in fathers may develop more gradually, often emerging during the first year after their baby arrives.
Many dads experience symptoms but find it difficult to talk about how they are feeling or ask for help. They may worry about being judged, feel they should be coping better, or simply not know where to turn.
What contributes to depression in dads?
Having a baby brings enormous changes to a person’s life. Financial pressures, changing relationships, disrupted sleep, new responsibilities and the adjustment to a different identity can all contribute to feelings of stress and overwhelm. Many dads describe feeling pressure to continue performing at work while also supporting their partner and caring for their baby. Some feel overlooked during this period, with most attention understandably focused on the health and wellbeing of the mother and baby.
Dads who are supporting a partner experiencing depression or anxiety are also more likely to experience difficulties themselves. Shared challenges such as sleep deprivation, financial stress, reduced social connection and changes in family routines can affect both parents.
Signs you might be struggling
Depression does not look the same for every dad. Some men experience sadness or low mood, while others notice changes in their behaviour, relationships or ability to cope.
Signs that you may be struggling can include:
- Losing interest in things you previously enjoyed
- Feeling flat, empty or sad most days
- Ongoing irritability, frustration or anger
- Feeling constantly exhausted, beyond what would be expected from normal disrupted sleep
- Withdrawing from family and friends or feeling unable to share what you are experiencing
- Feeling disconnected from your partner or baby
- Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions
- Feeling guilty, hopeless or worthless
- Using alcohol or other behaviours to escape difficult feelings
- Feeling overwhelmed by the responsibility of caring for your baby
- Having thoughts of harming yourself or others
If you recognise some of these signs, it does not mean you have failed as a dad. It means you may benefit from support.
Dads need to look after themselves too
Many fathers put their own needs aside while focusing on their partner and baby. Looking after yourself is not selfish. Supporting your own mental health helps you be more present and connected with the people who matter most.
Some things that can help include:
- Share how you feel. Talking with your partner, family, friends or a health professional can reduce isolation and help you feel supported.
- Accept help. Support does not have to be complicated. Practical help with meals, childcare or household tasks can make a real difference.
- Reconnect with your partner. Make time to talk and maintain your connection during a period when much of your attention is focused on your baby.
- Stay connected with friends. Maintaining social connections can improve wellbeing and reduce feelings of isolation.
- Stay active. Regular movement and exercise can support mood, reduce stress and improve sleep.
- Take things one day at a time. Difficult periods can feel overwhelming, but focusing on what you can manage today can help.
Try DadBooster for practical support
If you are a new dad feeling overwhelmed, anxious, low or unlike yourself, DadBooster is a free online program that can help you develop strategies to improve your wellbeing. DadBooster is based on Cognitive Behaviour Therapy (CBT) and includes six online sessions that you can complete at your own pace. It provides practical tools to help dads understand their thoughts and feelings, manage stress and build skills for coping with the challenges of early parenthood.
You can access DadBooster from home, at a time that suits you, without needing to attend appointments.
Find out more about DadBooster and get started today.
Where can I get help if I need it?
If you feel overwhelmed, depressed, anxious or unsure how to cope, consider speaking with your GP or a mental health professional. Medicare rebates for psychological support are available for men as well as women. If you are experiencing thoughts of harming yourself or someone else, seek immediate support by calling emergency services on 000, attending your local emergency department, or contacting Lifeline on 13 11 14.
